Samuel White, born Samuel White, grew up in the small town of Smalltown,
Pennsylvania. His hobbies include finding out what his hobbies are, and
getting stain in his eyes. He is of the rare afro-chinese race, and came from
Africa on a ship in 1324. Close friends call him Steve Perry, while others call him
Group Lotto. After Sam took French for a year, he took part in a move that
shocked the culinary community; french fries and french toast disavowed all
ties to France, and ask to simply be known as 'greasy potato slivers' and
'egg bread soggies.' One night while accompying Santa Claus on Christmas
morning, Santa Claus and Sam received a rude shock when they returned home to
find Mrs. Claus pleasuring herself on the North Pole. Tired of being labeled
as drunks by people of other ethnic groups, Sam and his jolly Irish people
will get together, get drunk, and beat up other ethnic groups. The director
saw Sam's pure talent when Sam interviewed Shamu the Killer Whale who admited
that he never actually killed, but was standing nearby when his friend blew
away a liquor store clerk.
